2. ... when shopping for a new home, you tell the realtor you need 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a 2-car garage and a family room large enough for at least 2 squares.

3. ... when your friend confides some juicy gossip about two couples in your neighborhood, you wonder if she did a Swap Around or a Reverse Swap.

4. ... when your handyman recommends that you oil the lock and you ask him if that's an experimental.

5. ... the only cruise you will consider taking is one where your favorite caller is on board.

6. ... when your purse is stolen, you aren't too concerned about your money or credit cards, as long as you get your book of square dance call definitions back.

7. ... when your children have to celebrate their birthdays on weekends between 5:30 and 6:00 AM, so as not to interfere with your tape groups, workshops and special dance weekends.  If you tell the kids you won't be available for family functions until you master C-4, you may miss your own funeral.

8. ... when passing someone in a hallway at work, you refuse to pass left shoulders, even though the other person (maybe your boss?) indicates this is his or her preference.  If you also scream, "Right Shoulders, right shoulders", it may be time for professional help.

9. ... your co-workers are concerned about your sanity because you spend your lunch hour moving little dolls around on your desk and chanting under your breath.

10. ... you sue your mate for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty because he or she demands that you skip tape group on your 25th anniversary.